I Used to Be “Cool”
When I was younger, it didn’t matter what I did or didn’t do, people generally thought I was cool and noninvasive. I didn’t worry about where I was. Things rolled off my back and I didn’t think the same way I do today. When you’re young like that, you feel invincible! You always think nothing will happen to you – especially when it concerns things you don’t do personally.
I call my intuition these days growing up, and while I still don’t know half of what I could, I am much wiser. I don’t want to be in the vicinity of someone or anything that could potentially get me in trouble for something I don’t even do. This isn’t high school.
What you do is your business, and I am OK with that. What you do with me around, sadly, becomes my business. I’m not good at hiding it if I feel uncomfortable – it will show. Nor am I going to continue to put myself in conditions that make me feel uneasy. That benefits absolutely no one.
As a friend, I would not put someone else in a position that has the potential to turn ugly. But that’s just me. I suppose I’ve turned into a bit of a nerd. If you don’t like this girl, then feel free to stay away from me. I’ve got some really good people in my life who would never bring me into harm’s way, and are perhaps to some people “boring”.
The past year I’ve realized something. People from your past who are stuck where they were thirty years ago, or who don’t want to be around you because you just aren’t “cool” anymore are the ones with the problem, and to honest I don’t need them in my life. I’m still the same laid-back, rock-n-roll, metal girl I used to be. I am just smarter (older), and truthfully not so relaxed in certain cases. Why should I be? To me, people going on 50 still acting like they are 20 are not hip. A person who discounts your feelings after you told them are the ones I find “not cool” today, and I will stay with my “boring” crew.